Jordy’s Letter
by
Lil AJ
“You know what Jordy, I can’t do this anymore.“Isis…” “Do you understand I could stab you in your neck right now? If you were here I could kill you I swear.”“Isis…”“What?”“Its not what you think. I don’t want her.”“Its always something and I’m tired of it. She can never seem to go home when she sees you. She’s sick with cramps and can’t walk. She took a grip of Flintstone vitamins and now she’s too fukked up to go home. What next?”“Nothing.”“You’re right because I’m not staying around to let anything else happen. You made your decision. Bye Jordy.”“Isis don’t.”“Bye.”After that she hung up. That was it. Isis finally got tired of my back and forth bullshit. Well, it wasn’t so much as back and forth because I wasn’t dealing with my ex like that. I still saw her but nothing physical was going on. Isis was the one I felt for. Isis was the one I gave my time to. Isis was the one who I now dropped tears for. I was just trying to stay friends with my ex. I was just trying not to leave her in the cold. This was already hard enough as it is and I know what its like to want someone who doesn’t want you and its fukked up. Instead of just putting my ex on ice and having nothing to do with her I tried to keep it completely platonic, but she kept doing things to fukk that up and in turn ended up fukking up me and Isis. And it was my fault because I didn’t know how to just drop her and let her drown in her tears. So now I’m drowning in mine.What kind of fool causes her own pain? One who is too stupid to see what’s standing in front of her because she is too busy looking behind her. Who sacrifices the most stable thing in their life for the most unstable thing? What makes a person give up her potential Mrs. Right for her definite Mrs. Wrong? What kind of idiot would do something like that? Me, that’s who.She warned me, I can’t say that she didn’t, and I knew she was dead ass serious. Isis was never one to play games. Never. So what possessed me to test her? Its not that I was even trying to test her to be honest, but that’s what happened, and I failed. I tested her heart and her will and I failed miserably. I scored a big fat F for Fukk-up and ended up losing the only stable thing in my life. Four years of solid friendship thrown away for someone who fukked me over more times than I can count. Four years of unconditional love thrown away for someone who doesn’t have a clue as to what the word love really means and I doubt ever really will. Four years of pure and perfect bliss thrown away for someone who gave me pure and perfect Hell. So now I’m here heartbroken and with no one to blame but myself. The most perfect woman I’ve ever come across, my stability, my compliment, the Ice to my Fyre, gone. So all I can do is write a letter to her.Princess,
Losing My Mind Without You,
Jordy