by
Ayanna Simmons
Greetings to all the sistahs in the greater womynhood. I am a 24 year old African-American woman with a B.A. Degree in Sociology, and I strongly believe that my achievements could not have been possible with out the guidance of God. Currently, I am devoting my spirituality to this phenomenal Creator, while my persuasion leans towards women of the same cause. I find myself at opposition of maintaining my status as a Christian and African American lesbian who would like to be active in the church, but I am compelled to remain an anonymous Christian because of superficial hype and the misinterpretation/misconception of homosexuality.
As I type this message, I feel the emotion of sacrilege that taints my soul but I am satisfied with asubject that finally exposes the truth of what I am going through at this moment. I love God while I believe with every human emotion and rationality I possess that my love and passion forwomen is not pre-meditate nor constructed but it is this "thing" that is congruent with nature. My sexuality is a just and sound situation; I came to be with God's intended love for me.
I live in Columbia, SC which is a southern state that is plagued with issues, such as: theconfederate flag, should it fly or die on the state house; lottery and the poker machine will it provide substantial funds for the state or will it destroy the homes of traditional families (whatevertraditional families mean these days); and the subject of homosexuality, I am suprised that the word is not banned from the dictionaries in SC, and conducting lynchings of lesbians who speak their mind against a white male republican patriarchal state are not condemned to hell by poitical figures themselves. These circumstances are too much to bare to be ostracized from family,friends, and co-workers who support these idealogies.
Well, I am quite grateful for my fellow peers at KUMA for providing me the opportunity to express a phenomenon that I have been battling for 24 years. However, I am no longer battlingwith God about my quote-unquote "situation". I have come to understand that it is my acceptance of God, the great I am, that has allowed me to embrace who am. So I already forgive those who hate me so...."forgive them God for the do not know what they do."
Again, may the women in the womynhood continue to struggle for the greater revolution.
Copyright © 1999. Used by permission of author. All Rights Reserved.
