Ask Rev. Kev Your Questions Answered by Reverend Kevin E. Taylor, author of Unclutter Question 6: I might be a lesbian and I'm scared. My family and most of my friends are from the church that I grew up in (and still go to). They and my pastor are very anti-gay. I think they would freak out if they found out--plus, I see the way they treat the "soft" type men on the choir. How can people who are supposed to love you turn around and hate you? Sister-Friend, Believe me, I grew up in the church as well, and as importantly, the church and the word of God grew up in me. I remember being in Sunday School and they would have us sing "Yes, Jesus Loves Me, for the Bible tells me so," so I wasn't afraid to read that Bible, daily and deeply. And I am reminded of what that book tells me everytime someone, who claims to love God speaks hate! "I made you and not your yourself" is in the Bible. "I have no respect of person" is in the Bible. "No weapon formed against (you) shall prosper" is in the Bible, but Christian folks don't want to remember those things. Why? I don't know, maybe its because the same way that people try to be restrictive about who they want in their neighborhoods and since Black folks don't own a lot of properties down here and because we get restricted down here, maybe there is a staunch desire to find that level of exclusivity in Heaven. Truthfully, I really have no idea, from a Christian perspective, how people who are supposed to be saved, redeemed and purchased by Grace and Mercy can then extend such hatred and self-righteousness in the name of God. But, be VERY CLEAR, that the word of God PREDICTED such. Jesus' word speaks clearly about people who would do things in his name, whom he did not know. LOVE is LOVE and anyone who tries to say otherwise is trying to justify not having to walk in Love. Many people say that they want to be like Jesus, but the song says I WANT TO BE LIKE JESUS in my heart. They are doing a horrible job of being like Jesus in their daily lives! Jesus was a rebel and a radical and a prophet who was not afraid to tear a foul churches and call out ruthless leaders. I stand on the promise that Jesus came that WE ALL might have life and that more abundantly. At the end of the day, the word of God calls for each of us to live in Spirit and in Truth, for God has not given us a Spirit of Fear, but A Spirit of Love, Power and Strong Mind. Most people who talk adversely about Gays and Lesbians are doing so because of images and ideas that they see on TV. It's completely different when the person is someone in your face or your family. I have been "out" about my sexual orientation all of my life. I have often worked in almost all Black environments. I would swear if I was living my life from outside that NO ONE in my life would have been affirming to me, but my relationship with my co-workers was wonderful. They respected the relationship that I was in to the point that they would be on the phone with my partner when I was away from my desk. When I worked at BET, I was out and, even working with hip-hop artists and ultra-Negroes, but they respected me as a producer and a person, because I did. I think that at the end of the day, your family will feel about your being a Lesbian as you do. So if you love and respect yourself as a woman first and then as a woman who loves women, then they will respect your truth. If they don't, then at least you are living your life like it's Golden. I heard someone say something once that really armed me with the words that I pass on to everyone who is struggling with coming out and being true to themselves: "I WOULD RATHER BE HATED FOR WHO I AM THAN LOVED FOR WHO I AM NOT!" Remember that, and live well! Book Review | Visit kevinetaylor.com | Order Book Go Back