by
DreamChylde
|
There she was, walking directly toward me... looking as sexy as ever. And I thought I would lose my fucking mind! I was terrified. I'm not sure what triggered it: my childhood molestations performed by a woman, or watching helplessly as my best friend was raped and murdered by a gang of lesbians five years ago. At twenty-five years old, I think it was safe to say I was truly homophobic. Can you blame me? I mean, had there been a man involved in either altercation I might have been a lesbian instead. That not being the case, I was terrified of the latter. I stereotyped them without hesitation as something they struggled to convince society they were not. I didn't care... I hated and feared them ruthlessly -- until I met Taevia. At first, I thought she was a boy. Notice, I said, "boy". The lack of facial hair and the baby-face gave me the impression that "he" was about sixteen, maybe eighteen at the most. Either way, she was too young for me. But that charming smile and devil-may-care attitude ignited my curiosity. However, as I approached, I realized something just was not quite right. The closer I got, the more suspicious I became. Oh my god! "He's" a "SHE"! Less than three feet from her I stopped, rooted to the spot, terrified into paralysis. Her kind expression became a look of puzzled confusion. Still, she attempted to shake my hand. Instinctively, I pulled back as if she were holding flames. Embarrassed by my rudeness and scared out of my wits, I awkwardly backed away and sped-walked from her, leaving her lost and dumb-founded, her hand still extended. That was the first time I had met her. But, not the last time I would see her. And somewhere in the back of my mind I was vaguely glad for that. She aroused in me a curiosity I had never known. I found myself thinking of her on random occasions and when I spotted her and she flashed me that inviting smile, I felt little pin-pricking urges and yearnings. So, there I was... self-conscious in my own desire, waiting for her to come to me. I was still suspicious, not necessarily of her, but of what she was. She was sweet, calm... never extravagant, but deliberate. Something about her eyes intrigued me; dark and mysterious, but happy and beguiling. They were sleepy eyes that seemed to smile. Her voice, when she spoke to me, was warm with a hint of raspiness that wasn't unattractive. And yet, I wouldn't completely open up to her. "Hello... NaJae." I suffered her to get quite close to me, much closer than normal, and I could smell the light, watery scent of her cologne. She was only around two inches taller than me, but her confidence and my timidity made her seem to tower over me. She stood to the side and slightly behind me and when she spoke, the light puff of air from her mouth just barely ruffled my hair. I nearly jumped out of my skin. I could hear her chuckle softly at my antics and I bristled. I bristled because she knew what she did to me. I bristled because she enjoyed it. And I bristled because I did, too. "Hello... Taevia." "I told you...call me Vee. All my friends do." She moved closer and I tensed up. "You...are my friend...aren't you...Najae?" Her calmness unnerved me. My heart quickened and I wasn't sure if it was from fear... or something else. "Aren't you?" she almost demanded. This was torture. On one hand, I was utterly afraid, but on the other, I was so curious. And like they say, curiosity killed the cat. Hell, I must have been a rotting corpse! "Y-yes..." I stuttered, barely above a whisper. "Good. I'd hoped so. I don't want to seem... like I'm after something, but..." She paused to let her words gain more significance, "friends typically hang out together." I knew this was coming eventually. "I'm going to the Last Chance tonight around 10:00. I'm not asking you to join me, but it would be nice to conveniently bump into you there." She didn't wait for a response (I'm not even sure I was prepared to give her one), she just sauntered away as cool as she pleased, without as much as a backward glance. Damn her! I let out the longest, deepest sigh, unaware that I'd been holding my breath almost the entire time. These one-sided conversations had been going on for about two weeks. It took a week to even let her near me, let alone speak to me. Even if I did know what to say, I couldn't gain enough control over my motor-skills to form the words, or force my vocals to make a sound. But her patience and persistence slowly chiseled away at the wall that blocked her and her kind from getting too close... well, her at least. She was different. She never looked at me like a piece of meat. Never once did she mention the words "turn you out". She was always respectful and always... there. So, now I was torn with a decision. Would I meet her at the Last Chance (a little bar in our neighborhood), or would I let my fears govern my actions and leave her hanging? I guess it wouldn't have killed me to have a few drinks with her. Maybe the alcohol would loosen up my tongue and allow me to meet her words with some of my own. At least now I knew that she was older than I thought. After 10:00 you had to be at least twenty-one to enter the bar. But the one thing I knew I wouldn't be able to succumb to was my ability to make eye-contact with her., Try as I might, I couldn't bring myself to look at her. Maybe from a distance, and then I could feel those longing urges, but let her be close to me, and my eyes would gravitate straight to the ground, the longing urges even more pronounced. Her eyes, however, seemed to burn into me, pierce through me with an intensity that made me weak and brought out of me a strange feeling that no woman had ever done before. Or man, for that matter. At 10:15 I walked through the first set of doors to the bar. I'd spent about two hours trying to find something to wear before I realized that this was not a date. I laughed at myself. What was I thinking? We were just friends, nothing more, nothing less. Still, I couldn't believe I was calling a lesbian "friend". Not after what I had been through and witnessed. I primped myself up a little, took a deep breath, and shoved open the second set of doors. A live jazz band played contemporary R & B music as cigarette smoke hovered around the interior. Being a Friday night, it wasn't as packed as I expected it to be. I briefly scanned the floor tables and then the bar before I spotted her. She was lounging against the bar rail, a half empty drink in one hand, a Newport in the other. She was wearing a tan Dickey shirt with a white tee, loose stone-washed jeans, and a pair of fresh white Nikes. Her short, wavy hair glistened dully in the half-light. I sighed thankfully. I was neither over- or under-dressed, sporting a light blue baby-tee that said "spoiled", a pair of Baby Phat denim Capri’s, and some white sandals. She didn't look like she was waiting for anyone. She just sat there, facing the bar, slowly sipping at her drink and chasing it with a pull of her cigarette. This was it. It was time to face my fears. It was all or nothing and there was no turning back, now. I made my move. I slid onto the stool next to her and signaled the bartender. Either Taevia didn't know I was there or she was playing with me, because she didn't acknowledge my presence. I cleared my throat, in an attempt to get her attention. That didn't work. I tried again, this time louder. "Nice to see you made it, Najae," She said without looking at me. Somehow I wasn't surprised - she saw me the moment I entered. "Nice to see you too Tae- I mean, Vee." She smirked at the fact that I remembered to call her that. "Is it?" she asked. "'Cause you never seem to want to look at me." At that point, I realized that she hadn't looked at me yet, since I had been sitting there. "It's... not that I don't want to... I just..." "Sorry I took so long. What'll you have?" interrupted the bartender. "Ummm, a rum and Coke, please." "You were saying...?" Vee inquired. I blushed. I couldn't stop it. The bartender sat my drink in front of me and moved on to the next customer. I took a long sip before I continued. "There's a reason I'm so... nervous around you." "I hoped we could talk about that." She still wouldn't look at me. I was confused. It was like I was waiting for it… asking, even. Like part of me wanted to feel that chill run up my spine, the butterflies, and that... other feeling. "You don't have to if you don't want to. I'm not trying to pry," she added. "Well... friends are supposed to be able to talk to each other, right?" Her eyes finally met mine. She searched my face as if she waited for me to look away. For once, I didn't. A smile hovered on her lips. She slowly brought her hand up to my face and paused, waiting for me to move away. For once, I didn't. She took her fingers and moved my hair away from my left eye and placed it behind my ear. I flinched at the first hint of contact, but I didn't move. I felt her fingers trace down the side of my neck, down my jaw-line, and to my chin. I hadn't realized I had closed my eyes. Her touch... it did something to me and up till that point I never noticed how bad I actually wanted to feel it. It was like she knew what I had been through and was apologizing for it through her hands. They were soft, gentle; gentler than any man I'd been with. I nuzzled against her palm as she ran her thumb across my lips. When I opened my eyes, she was much closer to me and I almost fell backward off of the stool from the shock. I felt like I'd just come out of a trance. "Are you okay? I'm sorry... maybe I shouldn't have done that." "No, no, I'm fine, really. You just startled me, that’s all," I reassured her, once I regained the power of speech. I finished off my drink in one gulp and ordered another. Vee looked at me, a mixture of amazement and concern on her face. "I'm okay, Vee." "Alright." Her relief was evident. For the next few fours, we sat and talked, got to know one another. She told me about her life and lifestyle and I wanted to slap myself for being so narrow-minded. I told her about my past and why I acted the way I did and she understood. By the time I was on my fifth rum and Coke, you'd have thought we were the best of friends. Laughing and joking, teasing each other playfully. I no longer flinched when she touched me. I found myself waiting for it and was exhilarated when I received it. Who was this little tom-boy? Where did she come from? Or, should I ask myself where had she been? At this point, there was no denying it. I was obviously attracted to Vee, but there was something more. The way she looked at me, the way she touched me made me want so badly to feel what she'd made other women feel. But there was still a tinge of nervousness there. I didn't understand why it was so intense. "What do you wanna do now?" she asked. "The bar's closing soon... it's pretty warm tonight. You wanna just go for a walk?" "Yeah. I'd like that." She took me by the hand and, like any gentleman, helped me up, tipped the bartender, and held the doors as we exited the bar, guiding me with a hand placed lightly on the small of my back. We talked more as we strolled along at a leisurely pace. The more time I spent with her, the more open-minded I became toward lesbians. They weren't the nasty, ignorant dykes that I had cruelly labeled them as. There were some good ones out there and Vee was proof. Plus, she didn't just stick to her own kind. She was cool with gays and straights alike. In fact, she was quite the popular one and everyone who knew her showed her much love. And she did the same in return. Seeing so many different people so comfortable around her made me feel more at ease. I no longer tensed up when she came closer. Her arm, draped loosely around my hips, made me feel almost safe. And when she stared into my eyes... I gazed back. But the subtle urges and the slight nervousness were still there, nagging at me. I kept telling myself that I was content with things the way they were, but I knew I wanted something more. As weeks went by and we spent more and more time together, I think even Vee became aware of it. But she was always respectful. Never said or did anything that would make me feel uncomfortable or offended. My yearnings grew stronger, more obvious. I openly flirted with her and she readily flirted back. Sometimes I'd sit and stare at her, study her face, watch her lips as she spoke to me or someone else. But mostly I'd watch her eyes. The one thing I could barely take in the beginning had become my favorite pastime. I would wait for what felt like an eternity, knowing she felt my eyes, till finally I was rewarded with a glance, a cocked eyebrow, and a grin. And I'd be floating. Then, one day, something happened... something I'd never forget. We were at my house, watching DVD's. Vee lounged back on the couch and I laid against her chest, lulled by her steady heartbeat, my body between her legs. She rubbed softly up and down my back with her fingertips and rocked me gently from side to side using her leg. I was seconds away from a blissful slumber when I felt her lips brush my forehead. Maybe I was already asleep and was dreaming it. Maybe I was awake and imagining it. Then, I felt again and distinctly heard the soft suction of a kiss. I looked up at her and she gazed down at me with a different look in her eyes. She leaned close and pecked softly at my eyebrows, the bridge of my nose, my cheek, she lingered at the corner of my mouth, her hand rubbing through my scalp. She was close, so close I could feel her lips on the tiny peach-fuzz hairs on my face. Something was throbbing. I couldn't tell if it was my heart... or her. She kissed the corner of my mouth lightly, as if she was trying not to frighten me and I held my breath. Every kiss brought her closer to the fullness of my lips. Hers felt like satin, pillowy soft, thick and luscious. I thought my heart would pound out of my chest. My pulse was thumping through my whole face, ringing in my ears, faster and faster. I felt like I would fly to pieces. I wanted this so bad, but I wasn't sure I was ready for it. My heart and mind were waging an all-out war within me. And just when I thought I would lose it, she pressed her mouth to mine. I gasped and pulled back, but she followed me. For once, she didn't hold back because of my fears. She continued to kiss me. I half-heartedly tried to push her away, but she my took my hand off her chest and placed it around her neck. Her other hand was held firmly, but gently against the back of my head. There was no escape. I gave in and wrapped my other arm around her neck. She pulled me closer and I climbed on top of her. Our tongues twisted and danced in each others mouths. She cradled my face in her hands. Her touch sent super-charges surges of desire through me. Her fingers slid down the center of my spine, causing me to arch my back, and in turn, causing me to grind against her. This brought a small moan out of me. Every push and pull of her lips, every thrust of her tongue, every caress of her hand created that all too familiar sensation that started in the depths of my chest and plummeted down to rest and pulsate between my legs. Only, with Vee, it was ridiculously more intense. Perhaps it was because I yearned for it so bad. I didn't know. I didn't really care. All I knew was how good it felt to finally be there. Never in a million years did I imagine myself in that situation. I was drunk with lust, giddy with desire, clumsy and awkward and eager. Then I remembered. "Vee..." I said between kisses. "I think... you should know... something." She stopped immediately. "What's wrong?" Her forehead creased up in worry. "I'm... I don't really know how to say it." "Just say it, baby." Wow... she called me "baby". And it sounded so natural, so... good. "Vee, I'm non-orgasmic," I blurted out. "Is that all?!" It was apparent that she thought it was something much worse than that. "Well, yeah... you don't seem to be too bothered by it." "That's because I'm not," she replied with a grin. "Don't worry 'bout it, baby. I helped you overcome other obstacles. I'll help you over come this one too." Now, I've had men use that same line on me (or something similar) and to no avail. But for some reason, I believed Vee. I entrusted her with my mind, body and soul. She took her time with me. She led me to my bedroom, slowly undressed me, and laid me on my bed. There I was... nude in front of a lesbian. And I was not afraid. She also removed her clothes and the recognition dawned on me. Before, I was with a woman who resembled a man. Now, I was with a woman who was a woman, and I basked in her naked glory. She crawled up to me and began rubbing and massaging my body, paying special attention to every inch of me. She placed kisses on anything that her lips could reach (which was damn near everything). My chest rose and fell as my breathing became deeper. She suckled softly at my nipples till they reached for her mouth. She slid a hand up my inner thigh till she felt the heat and moisture in between. Her eyes never left mine and it only aroused me more. She made her way down my hungry body and nuzzled the small strip of hair that led to my salvation. With my legs partially closed, she kissed, licked, and sucked at my lips. She ran her tongue up and down my slit and my clit pushed for freedom beyond the confines of my lips, swelling and throbbing in anticipation. Cool air whispered across my soaked pussy when she finally spread my thighs. I couldn't keep my body from moving. It was as if she was already down there. Then she was... and a sound that was somewhere between a shuddering moan and a sigh escaped my lips. She slid a finger inside as her tongue circled my clit. Her technique was gentle, her tongue darted and slid over, under, and around me, but she seemed to deliberately avoid my aching clit. I briefly thought back to the last time a man was between my thighs, after spittin' game and talkin' shit about his head skills, only to leave me thoroughly disappointed. He had pushed my hood back and hacked at my ultra-sensitive clit with his rough tongue and I practically kicked him in his forehead. Afterward, I never wanted to be eaten out again. But, Vee was so tentative. She was psychic, reading my thoughts and responding accordingly. I didn't have to tell her where to go, or where to stay, or how fast, or how hard. She just knew. My pelvis rotated against her and she matched me, move for move. Her tongue felt like it belonged on me. I hoped it belonged to me. It was just that damn good. Suddenly, I began to shake. It came from out of nowhere, starting with my limbs and expanding throughout my body, accompanied by an overwhelming sensation in my chest and abdomen... something like butterflies, border-lining on a heart-attack. I moaned louder and looked down at Vee. She didn't seem concerned, nor did she seem like she would stop. She just calmly met my eyes with hers. Watching her please me not only increased my desire, it increased that feeling that was steadily waxing inside me. I couldn't take my eyes off her and when she cocked her eyebrow at me, it pushed me over the edge. A jumble of incoherent words spewed out of me. I felt hot on the inside and cold on the outside, and vice versa. My heart fluttered. My breath stopped. My body stiffened. Then I exploded. Sounds I didn't think I was capable of producing erupted from my throat. My moans became broken and segmented. I tried to move away but my body had a mind of its own, and even if it did comply, Vee had such a vise-grip on my thighs that a chance of escaping was hopeless. I thought I was losing my mind and when I felt like I couldn't take it anymore, another wave surged through me. I could hear Vee's moans mingling with whatever noise I called myself making. I thought I was seeing stars. My hands grabbed randomly at anything within reach. Vee's arms were covered in red claw-marks from my gouging finger-nails. She was unaffected. She continued grinding her face into me, her tongue vibrating against my pounding pussy. My walls contracted around her fingers as a third burst of spasms jerked out of me and with some hidden reserve of strength, I managed to wriggle away from her. (Actually, she just let me go.) I rolled over into the fetal position, still shaking with aftershocks. When she tried to touch me, I nearly leapt through the ceiling. Something else was coming over me. My body let out one final shudder and I broke into tears. "Baby?" Vee whispered. "Oh... God..." I turned and crawled into her arms... her safe, gentle arms and cried my heart out. She held me tightly. I wrapped my body around hers, wanting to stay there forever. I never knew anything could feel so incredible. She held me tighter. "Najae, baby... are you okay?" Vee asked, concern growing in her voice. "Yes, Taevia. I don't think I've ever felt better." She lifted my face and dried my eyes. "Vee... you've done the impossible. My eyes are open now, and I'm not afraid anymore. The only thing that worries me is that you'll leave," I said softly. Vee stared long and hard at me before responding. "Now, why would I do something stupid like that?" Homophobic is no longer part of my vocabulary... but love? Now, that's another story... but, then... anything is possible. Bio: DreamChylde was born in Washington DC. At 25 years of age, she is an accomplished free-lance artist, doing everything from logo designs to tattoos. She has been writing since elementary school and has had poems posted in the Baltimore Sun newspaper and on numerous websites including this one. (Check the archives for "Mental Orgasm".) She now works full time and is preparing herself to attend Maryland Institute College of Art in the near future. |
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