January 1, 2002
__________by her_shee
why does it hurt so bad?
Sometimes I’m alright, sometimes I’m not
I get to thinking about you and the times that we’ve shared
trying to figure out what went wrong
as much as you say it’s not me
I can’t help but to think that it is
What was it about me that didn’t convince you
that I could be the one
was I not kind enough, sweet enough, considerate enough
did I show you that I cared about you too much
would you have preferred for me to be nonchalant about you
unfortunately I’m not the type that hides what I’m feeling
if I’m liking you, loving you, I’m not keeping it a
secret from you
I’m gonna tell you, show you
I don’t believe in playing games
I’m not gonna act like I could give a damn about you
knowing that I would do anything for you
why does it hurt so bad?
I don’t have anyone to hold me
and tell me it will be okay
friends on the phone comforting me
and I ain’t hearing what they’re saying
cause I’m thinking about you
beating myself up
what did I not do right?
was I too good to be true?
is it too hard to believe that I wanted to be with only you
that I wanted to cherish and show you what you mean to me
this that I’m writing you wasn’t meant to be yours
and yet my emotions dictated to my fingers
and it was all about you
why does it hurt so bad?
What is it about rejection that can turn even the strongest
into bumbling weak fool
I ain’t no emotional woman
and yet here I sit, and cry, and moan, and question
why are my tears fallin?
why won’t they stop?
I thought I had everything figured out and yet
I’m sitting up in my room asking God where is He now
doesn’t He know that I’m hurting
why isn’t He comforting me
why won’t He talk to me
and tell me that everything’s gonna be alright
why does it hurt so bad?
Just when I think that I’m handling it fine
and everything is gonna be okay
I start to cry
why am I crying?
where is this pain coming from?
is there more to these tears than just you
it has to be
but what is it
It must be hidden deep within my heart
because even I don’t recognize it
all i feel is you
why does it hurt so bad?
Why am I writing through tear-filled eyes
why can’t I laugh and smile
knowing that life hands you these situations
knowing that time heals all wounds
knowing that I have friends and family who love me
people telling me that I’m a great person
but if I’m so great why don’t I have you
"oh boo, don’t worry about it"
"it’s her loss"
"well you’re only making room for someone better"
this is what they say to me
and I don’t believe a word of it
why aren’t you here with me
‘scuse me while I cry some more
why does it hurt so bad?
I must’ve done something in a past life
something horrible
because I feel horrible now
I feel anger towards myself
how could I be so dumb as to let myself fall for you
when you were being honest with me the whole time
you told me that you just weren’t ready
and yet I persisted
must’ve thought I could win you over
I won’t fool myself like that again
lesson learned
you can’t change a person’s mind nor their heart
why does it hurt so bad?
and why is my dog looking at me like I’m crazy
she must be thinking to herself
"I tried to warn your ass, but unfortunately we
don’t speak the same language"
I swear the other night she was shaking her head
she must’ve felt what I was going through
must’ve felt sorry for me
just like I’m feeling sorry for myself
last night was new years eve
and I just knew that I would hear your voice
at 12:00 am - wishing me a happy new year
and when I didn’t it broke me up
cause I got to thinking
you must be with her
and it ain’t like I can say something
cause you ain’t mine
there are no strings, there are no rings
it hurts
it hurts
it hurts
so can I see you tonight?
