by
Cinsational_Luv
I've always been attracted to women. When I was younger I thought it was just a fantasy, a sinful thought. Friends and family would make comments about how homosexuality was nasty, a gross lifestyle. I never said anything in defense of these people, because I was secretly intrigued and turned on by them. For those who were out, I admired their courage but also envied it, as I was too afraid to follow my feelings to realize how much I was attracted to women.

I thought college would be a place for me to explore my sexuality to experiment and to be free. But instead I got involved with this guy and genuinely fell in love and pushed my feelings for women aside. While things were good in our relationship I would often think or have dreams about women but that's where it ended. But slowly and surely I didn't just dream anymore I was starting to crave and desire women. I had and needed to figure out was this just fantasy or could I be bi or gay.

I pushed my fears aside and started scanning the personals. Looking for that woman who would turn me out and finally let me find out who I really was. To my dismay most women were married looking for a quick time or couples looking for some voluptuous freaky babe to do both of them. I wasn't looking for that, I wanted something deeper.

Being bored at work as usual I had my messenger up where mostly horny old married men would try to convince me to give them a chance to rock my world or give me the time of my life. They get ignored. But on this one day I get a message from hot-n-spicee. "What part of the city are you from?" I reply, I live on the East side. As we keep conferring we realize I work on the same block she lives; we decide to meet. Very excited and nervous I leave work and walk down the street to meet her. She said 5 minutes even though it was more like 10 but it was ok because once she showed up she was so damn sexy. She says, "Are you Iona?" "Yes it's me nice to meet you." She wasn't butch but she wasn't real femme either somewhere in between. Which drove me totally crazy because to me there is nothing sexier than a woman who is feminine but has that slight touch of athleticism and slight masculinity to them. Instantly, I was intrigued and I had a crush.

I couldn't get her off of my mind. She emailed me almost everyday and I anxiously waited for her messages. I was like a little child waiting for the ice cream man, for my daily treat. She was very busy so we didn't talk on the phone or see each other often but that didn't lessen the way I felt about her. I felt like she was it, the one, finally someone I could explore with. But after month's of falling deeper and deeper I found out she had a girlfriend. I was crushed, why had she led me on? Making me want her even thinking about leaving my man for her. Knowing she was involved I kept sniffing around like a puppy waiting for her to throw me scraps of affection from her dinner plate.

One night I did her a favor and drove her to the store to buy boxes so she could start moving out of her dorm. When I dropped her off I didn't want to leave and I tried to give her that 'I really want to come up but I want you to ask look' finally she asked. Her room was so damn hot. She didn't have any ac. It was like a mini oven in there. But I stayed and we watched a couple of movies. I had to lie on her bed because the dorm room was too small for sofas, so we got a chance to be real close. She even laid her head on me, which definitely got my juices flowing. Unfortunately, her roommate came back and totally ruined the chances of anything happening so I realized it would be a long hot night. Her roommate had to leave very early that morning to go to a church function so when I woke up she was gone. We both lay on her bed bodies close. It had to be like 100 degrees in there and even hotter in my pants. I was sweaty and hot but it just made me even wetter and excited.

It was my chance to be bold so I slowly took my hand and placed it under her shirt onto her back. She's sweaty too but it feels good. So good I start to work my hand to the front on her breasts...her huge breasts...I feel her nipples getting hard at the same time my clit is getting hard. She starts to move and I get scared because I thought she was still sleep. But she turns over to face me; eyes still closed and moves in real close. Our bodies are clinging together in the intense heat but it was so sensual. We just lay there touching, arousing each other making the already stuffy, hot, room...steamer more arousing. I start to touch her there... she seems to enjoy it...so I try to put my hand deeper into her pants and I feel a little fur and I start to tingle and throb like never before. In all my 23 years I had never been this turned on before. Not with my first, my man, no one. I thought I was in heaven. As my hand starts to slide down so I can open her legs to feel her wetness, she says, "I have cramps."

I wanted to die, thinking this was the moment my chance. Well it wasn't and soon after I left feeling somewhat rejected and again led on. And crushed by my first female crush.

THE END

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