(Part 3)
by
bi?princess

After a month of being apart, I realized that Dee hadn't been bluffing. The ball was in my court and I had to prove myself to her. After the many tear-filled nights, and the resentment finally fading, I rediscovered why I had fallen in love with her.

Dee was my world, away from the world. I didn't have to pretend to be anything more than who I was with her. I wasn't viewed as the cold-hearted bitch that everyone thought. She saw me for who I really was: a woman who overcompensated for her insecurities through work, and who wanted to be admired, loved, respected, and desired.

I adored her, trusted her and valued her opinion above anyone else's and she gave me everything that I wanted and needed. There were times when I wondered how she had the ability to make a difficult situation work, how she could ease my mind through a gentle touch, or how she could make me laugh when I thought my world was crumbling. When life was a bitch, she made me grit my teeth and get through it.

And when I had faced the most difficult situation that I had ever had to face in life-the death of my parents, six months apart, Dee had been the one who picked me up, made me get out of bed, and carry on with life, while still making sure that I knew that she was my rock when my grief became too much to bear. She was my best friend first and then my lover.

Yet, I couldn't give her the one thing that she desired most of all: recognition. And the moment that I rediscovered what a precious gift she was, I hated myself for being so selfish. No matter the cost, Dee had given me so much and it was time for me to give her want she wanted. I had never felt this way about anyone...man or woman.

And tonight, was that night. If everything went as planned, my baby would be coming home with me for good. But, if it didn't...

There were no ifs, ands, or buts about it. It had to work.

***
I walked into the room, looking more confident than I actually felt and took in the scenery. The entire room was decorated elegantly in black and gold. At the front of the room, behind the podium, was a black sign with the words 21st Annual Coalition for Black Professionals Awards Banquet in gold letters. Elaborate chandeliers adorned the ceilings, which lightly swayed above every table. The tables were decorated with black tablecloths beneath sheer, gold lace, along with eight place settings.

I smoothed the black, fitted dress down my curvy hips and looked down to make sure that everything was still nicely in place. The dress I wore was made to tease by lifting my breasts, caressing my hips, tightly hugging my ass, and revealing my entire right leg. I knew it was a bit risqué for the night, but I wanted Dee's boxers to be soaked by the time I took her home.

As I began to walk to my seat, I recognized over half of the people in the room and I stopped a number of times to speak. The closer that I got to my seat, the more nervous I became. My stomach was in knots, my body tensed and I felt like I wanted to puke right on the plush carpet.

I knew that I would be seated beside Dee because every year we came together. As I moved throughout the room, looking for my name, my face didn't reflect my inner turmoil. On the outside I seemed easygoing, relaxed, confident, but on the inside I was dying from nervousness. It would be the first time that I would have seen her in over a month and I didn't know how to act.

What if she brought a date, I thought? Could I still go through with my plan? What if she said no? What if I forgot what I was going to say? Or better yet, what if I wasn't allowed to say what I needed to say to her? I tried to clear my head and shake the "what if" blues, but my stomach muscles were clenching even tighter as I spotted my name.

I moved to the table and I saw that there were two chairs remaining. Dee sat chatting with a fellow surgeon and I wasn't prepared for how sexy she looked. (Don't get me wrong, my boo always looked good, but that night she was looking even sexier. I had to clench my thighs together to stop the dam from breaking.)

She wore her hair in a very short, tightly curled cut and her fade called for my tongue to kiss the center of her neck. The back of her neck, right in the center was one of her spots. If I lay behind her, pushed my fingers deep into her pussy, and sucked the back of her neck, she would have the deepest, most intense orgasm. My nipples hardened.

As I stood there in my own world for a couple of seconds, I realized that I was staring at her, while her and the doctor were looking at me. I quickly composed myself and smiled.

"Good evening," I breathed. I tried clearing my throat of the evidence of my horniness. But, she knew, I could see it her eyes.

I slid into the seat next to hers and tried to make myself comfortable. Her perfume and soap filled my nostrils and I wanted to drop to my knees and eat her right then and there...with everyone watching. At that moment, I didn't care who knew what I was feeling. It had been too long since her pussy had been in my mouth.

The doctor was saying something to me. I tried to clear my thoughts and focus on what he was saying.

"Kyla, congratulations on the nomination for Black Professional of the Year," he said sincerely. "Your hard work is exemplified month after month with the success of your magazine."

"Thank you. It's an honor just to be nominated and to especially be on the ballot with such influential and dedicated people. It's actually a blessing," I said truthfully. I wanted to add that I wouldn't be here without the support and love of Dee. But, I had to be patient; my time would hopefully come soon enough.

A judge walked over to our table and took the final seat. He greeted everyone and finally turned and began talking to the doctor, which left an opportunity for Dee and I to talk.

"You look very nice tonight," she said. I could see in her eyes that she meant more than nice. She wanted me. It was a start.

"Thank you, so do you. How have you been," I asked, honestly needing to know.

"Cool, just keeping busy. Pulling double shifts at the hospital for the last month so that's kept me exhausted, as well as occupied. What about you?"

Maybe, that was her way of telling me that she missed me and she couldn't deal with being home in the evenings, so she worked more. Or maybe I was reading too much into her comment. No, Kyla, think positive, I reminded myself.

"Just the usual," And missing you. Before, I could elaborate on how I had been, the MC for the night spoke into the microphone.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for coming out tonight."

Dee leaned over, gently squeezed my hand and whispered into my ear, "Good luck, Princess," she said before letting go. I felt my eyes water. It had been so long since I had heard her endearment for me. I wanted to lean into her, pull her face closer to mine and claim her lips. I wanted her and I missed her. Not just physically, but emotionally, spiritually, mentally. She was my woman and I wanted-no needed to be her wife.

Soon, I prayed. I would make things right. Soon.

The night progressed at a slow pace. The dinner was nice, the company at the table could have been better, with the exception of Dee, of course. I wanted to turn to the lady beside me, who was rudely talking with her mouth opened the entire night, and let the contents of my stomach just empty in her lap. That would shut her up.

How gross can you be, Kyla, I thought. Well shit, my nerves are frazzled enough without having to look at this human blender chew her food.

Finally, the moment I had been waiting for-it was time to announce the winner in my category. I needed this. I didn't necessarily need the award, but I needed the time the award represented. I needed Dee to understand that I understood what she had been saying all along. I needed her to know that no matter who knew, I did love her, respect her, cherish her and want to be with her for the rest of my life. I needed to win tonight.

I sat there listening to the names of the nominees, along with their company affiliations and I just wanted them to announce the winner already. I braced myself and I leaned forward in my chair hoping to hear my name.

"And the winner of this year's Black Professional of the Year Award is Susan Denver," the MC enthusiastically announced.

I looked around at Susan and smiled. That bitch, I thought. How could she have won over me? What in the hell does she do? The only thing that I could think of was getting a few men off of death row who had been unjustly accused a couple of years ago. I almost laughed at how silly I was being. Okay, so she deserved the award much more than I did, but I had really wanted to give my speech. I needed to give that speech for Dee.

I simply hadn't thought about losing tonight. Not the award and definitely not Dee.

I needed her to realize just how much I loved her. I needed these people to know, who composed the prominent, black figureheads in my community. These people, who I traveled in the same circle with by day, and often times socialized with by night needed to see that she was more than my best friend, she was my lover. They were the ones who I feared would no longer respect me; no longer confide in me when it came to getting the information for my magazine, or who would maliciously gossip behind my back.

But, none of it mattered if I lost Dee, or if I lost her respect. She was my best friend and my soul mate.

The ceremony was coming to an end and I was no closer to getting back with Dee than when I walked through the door. I looked at the MC who was thanking everyone for coming and I knew I had to make my move. Now or never.

I reached into my purse and pulled out a piece of paper and pen and scribbled a quick note on it. I grabbed one other thing from my purse and moved out of my seat, quickly maneuvering my way through the tables until I was walking out of the room. I walked around the banquet hall until I found the door that I had been looking for. It was a side door, which led back into the banquet area and up to the stage where the podium and the board members sat that evening.

I walked through the door and up to the MC's assistant for the night. I handed him the note and asked him to give it to the MC. He looked at me with surprise and began to tell me that they weren't allowed to stray from the program. I smiled, moved a little closer into him.

"For me? Please," I purposely lowered my voice and slowly licked my lips.

"Okay, doll. For you," He said quickly sliding the note onto the table without the audience seeing him.

The MC read the note and looked surprised. He looked back towards us and I quickly tilted my head and clasped my hands together, as if I were begging. He nodded.

"There has a been a slight alteration to our program. We will have brief comments by Kyla Jeffrey, which will then conclude our evening," he said.

My heart began to beat faster. Was I the craziest broad on earth, I wondered? Could I actually go through with this? Maybe, I should make a quick dash for it, I thought.

The MC's assistant helped me climb the stairs leading onto the stage. This was it. No turning back. I had made my choice and hopefully I could get through this.

I walked onto the stage and my huge smile appeared. I was famous for this smile and I would make it definitely work to my advantage at this moment. I needed it as a shield to hide behind as I stood in front of my peers.

"Good evening." Just the right pause here. Now a big smile.

"It's been a wonderful night and I congratulate all that has been honored. Please give yourselves a round of applause," I encouraged, and waited for the audience to finish clapping.

I continued by saying, "If you're wondering why we have strayed from tonight's agenda, blame it on Susan Denver. If she had not worked so darn hard this year, I could of made my comments while graciously accepting my award." Everyone laughed and looked at Susan. "Seriously, congratulations, Susan. And, ladies and gentlemen, I won't be long."

"Tonight has been about recognizing those who make influential contributions to our lives on a daily basis. It's about those people who give of themselves freely and expect nothing in return, and it's about us showing our appreciation to such people. Therefore, I couldn't leave here tonight without acknowledging that special person in my life who continuously offers her support and her love to me.


Each of us hopes to find that one person who we connect with on all levels: spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically. No matter how involved we are in our work, or how hard of an exterior we present, we all wish at some time or another, that we could go home at night, push out the world, let down all of our pretenses, crawl into our loved ones' arms and relieve ourselves of the daily grind.

Now reel them in.

"I've found that person."

At that moment, I could hear my heart beating into the microphone. I wondered if they could hear it.

"That person in my life who completes me is Deyone Austin."

By the time I had made that statement, my eyes had expertly met everyone else's in the room. However, at this moment, my eyes met Dee's. I saw her surprise. I paused, hoping that I wasn't embarrassing her, hoping she wouldn't think that I was making a spectacle of her.

I continued. "Dee, I love you and you're my world away from the world. You make the daily pressures bearable; you take away my pain and fill me with joy. You're my everything and nothing matters if I can't have you beside me to share it. I want to spend my entire life with you and I don't care who knows that I'm in love with you. It just took me some time to get to the point where I could openly admit it," I could hear the soft murmurs beginning. "Forgive my procrastination."

Please take me back I need you, my mind begged silently.

"Dee, sweetie, will you marry me and be my best friend forever," I asked looking deep into her eyes. If I wasn't mistaken, it looked like she was going to cry.

I had to regain my own composure so that I could complete this. I looked down at the small box that I had been holding and slowly opened it, revealing a gold band. I kept my head bowed for a few minutes, trying to calm myself and collect my concluding thoughts.

I looked back out into the audience and I no longer saw her. Oh shit, I've embarrassed her. This wasn't what she meant when she said that she wanted to be recognized. I messed up. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't in front of all of these people.

I turned to walk off of the stage, and turned into her arms. She lifted my chin and our eyes connected. She nodded her head. At that moment, I didn't comprehend. I shook my head as if to clear it.

"Yes, Princess, I will," she said in that thick Texas accent.

My heart stopped. My eyes widened and my arms flew around her neck. I felt her arms creep around my waist and I felt the wave of tears rush to the surface. I was going to break down and she knew it.

"Thank you," she turned and spoke into the microphone and led us off the stage.

Once we were behind the curtain, I began crying harder and she pulled me back into her arms and held me tight. I didn't want her to ever let go. The loneliness and pain from the past month, my fear that she would think I made a fool of her, and my nerves from standing in front of those people, all surfaced through my tears.

She rubbed my bared back and held me close to her heart. "Princess, I love you. Yes, I'll marry you and be your best friend forever," she spoke into my hair.

My heart was hers. The heavy burden of me concealing the depth of my love for her, as well as her pain because of my lack of acknowledgment of our relationship was gone.

In the background, I heard the audience's applause.

THE END

Copyright © 2002. Used by permission of author. All Rights Reserved.

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