__________by Olutunde
home is where the heart is
said the pathological liar
you are my home
she whispered moments before good-bye
I wanted to move
away from romance
to move towards intimacy
-- honestly,
religiously
I took my emotions,
my feelings for you
from the mountaintop
leveled them off
firmly grounded them
ash and soil
consecrating every step
of this enchanted descent
Spirit began the ritual
Love and Kindness assured the choice
I relinquished all control
Glancing upwards, now
forward -- towards recognizing a world
of possibility
with you
But, what does it mean
when the woman you're fucking
says "Thanks for the friendship"?
It seems as though
I've been touching you
in places that don't amount to much
loving you
in a way
that either failed to reach you
or went so far, so deep
that either it
or I
scared the hell out of you
scared you right into retreat
both options short of my goals
robbers of my fantasy
as my dream lady
becomes all too real
and repeatedly disappoints me
I feel like I've already drowned
having already consumed you, eaten your fruit
tasted your blood
walked freely into head-over-heels-love with you
loving you and losing you
has been a culmination of lessons
One huge unannounced teach-in on moving in and out of self
The Early and Protracted Effects of Loving With Your Whole Heart In a World
Acclimated To The Game
and though your soft and gentle kisses
encouraged my bravery
and though your eyes elicit trust
the task at hand
is unlearning you
unlearning your name
the scent of your liqoured lips
your pussy sweat
your pussy sweet
I have to unlearn your eyes
your hands
your lips, your touch
the love you wrapped all around me
that small tight ass
I have to unlearn love
the plans I prematurely made
the plans you indulged me in
And though separating
and extracting you from every cell in my body
isn't easy
My mission, my intent
is to unlearn you
to unlove you
to ultimately get over you,
and move on.
