__________by Lovelybrown
She fucks me often
Has me tossing and going back between a stream of consciousness
And reality that sadly dominates and overwhelms me with facts that she is too good to be true
So I battle daily with the question that has become an obsession
What the fuck should I do?
Cause I feel her
And she fills me and I feel her
Feel me
And we have agreed to remain silent
Not drowning our conversations in violent what ifs and gifts of
Decorated emotion
Use to be scared of that C word
But she could get my devotion
Because she mentally has broken me down
And I am drowning from the mere sound of her voice
And I would be lying if I said puling back was a choice
Cause I am stuck
Carefully nudged in this corner where my mind and my heart disagree
See she is the resurrection that has gained my affection
and wiped the slate clean
But I am in a battle star galactica
because sometimes I wish I hadn't met her
Or rather met her a year and a half to late
Sometime after the Scorpio and before the current one she dates
Or maybe
just maybe during a time when she was tricking off
And I could have interrupted her wild days and shown her whose the boss
But I wasn't ready then
Which brings to mind the question
How can I be so ready now
But I become moist from the thought of how she makes me smile
And how deeply she sees me…I mean really sees that innocence that was lost and gained and taken away and then re-found
And I wanna be down
As I fight with this question that has become an obsession
What the fuck should I do now?
Cause she is moving me and she is sending me to places only discussed with former friends
Images of husbands, families and Cosby show type ends
But I wanna wife and want her to wear the same size shoes as you
And I want her to immortalize me the way that you do
And I want to feel connected the way I feel connected to you
Not really speaking only passing unsaid messages between our heads carried by our souls
She wants me to let go
But I gotta stay in control and I gotta let her know…
But she fucks me often…
And I mean good
Not in the physical sense of the word
Way past sexual and pass that shit I spoke 1 week ago
I mean she gets in my mind and moves it in circles and has me seeing things and has me believing things
And has me releasing pain
Cause I know there has to be more than this
I'm emotionally fulfilled just listening to her tell me
"Baby you a genus
"Can I get a witness?
But I can't do this and I'm scared of steam created by the fire between her and me
and I don't believe in destiny
but she
she makes me believe in her
and I care
and that shit scares me.
