by
Lil AJ
_____Jannah woke up just in time to do one of those ten-minute ass washings and throw on whatever wasn’t wrinkled as long as it matched. She was running late again. She tossed two Apple Toaster Streusels, compliments of the little white boy made of dough, into the microwave for about fifteen seconds. Who the Hell had time to wait a whole minute for a toaster? Damn the icing too.
_____“C’mon gotdammit.” She said staring at the microwave. “This is the longest damn fifteen seconds I swear.”
*BEEP* Finally the timer went off. Jannah snatched the streusels out of the microwave leaving the door open, and ran to grab her coat. She glanced back and thought “Fukk that. I’ll close it when I get home.” She raced to the door and grabbed her coat and scarf along the way. While locking the door she glimpsed her watch. It was eight-thirty-four, which meant she had twenty-six minutes to get to work and sign in. Hopefully there wasn’t bumper-to-bumper traffic. She sped to her Lexus, a 2003 GS400, an Eid Al-Fitr gift from her studsband Malak. Jannah unlocked her door and jumped inside. She started the car and pulled out of the driveway.
_____Once on the road Jannah switched on the radio and let the music surround her. She took out her favorite CD from the glove compartment, the one with Malak on it, and slid it into the CD player. The music and her Baby’s voice was an intoxicating mix. Malak had a neo-soul type poetic flow. Not exactly a singer, but not exactly a rapper. She was something in between. Something different. Something so sexy it made Jannah wet just by thinking about it. Jannah let Malak make love to her ears and her mind, half-speaking, half-singing. The soul of D’Angelo and Musiq meets the poetic flows of Mos Def and Common, with the sexy tones of Alicia Keys. That was Malak. Jannah listened to the words intently as she drove.
_____“Damn how can love just come so fast?
Shit like this can’t possibly last...
-or can it?
Baby the suspense is murder,
I can’t stand it...
But at the same time I can’t abandon it...
Sick shit aint it?
Do we take the risk of rushin’ and taintin’ it?
Or just let it flow and wait on it?
I don’t know, and this got me trippin, trust,
The wanting you is serious, but I don’t wanna fukk this up,
But the love you give is crucial and you give me a quikk rush,
You got my mind spinnin’, keep me steady grinnin’,
Like I been chillin’ with Sean Paul and he just passed the Dro,
The nervousness is serious, you got me feenin yo…
-but again my brains is fukked…
I want you in my cypher, but how do I get you there?
And I know this is all on me cuz you done been prepared,
And it ain’t that I don’t want you, its just, I guess, I’m scared…
-of what? Who knows?
But it don’t change that I want you,
Won’t nothing change that fact,
We just need a little more time to get this shit on track,
When, not if, I become your girl, I don’t want no unsolved shit,
No recurring exes making our minds flip,
No uneasy feelings of you hurting me,
And no outside bullshit stopping our love from being free…
-Boo we both got issues…
But Baby I really love you, which is why I can’t give up,
Boo we got a dilemma, and yeah its type fukked up, I know,
But I think we can get through this if we take it slow,
-Altho I don’t want to cuz damn I want you now…
Dilemma…”
That was the only song Malak recorded. It was the song that brought her and Jannah together. The funny thing was that Malak made that track just bullshitting in the studio one day with Missy while doing an interview for her magazine. Malak was owner and editor of “The Heat,” A Hip-Hop and R&B magazine to rival “The Vibe” and “The Source,” which was also how she and Jannah met. Jannah was a graphics designer whose career revolved around Hip-Hop and R&B. She’d designed logos and album covers for everyone from up-coming no-name artists to the likes of Ja Rule and Janet. Malak had sought out Jannah’s talents for “The Heat’s” logo. That was three years ago. It was a cute courtship. Dinners, movies, and long talks on the phone where the conversations went way into the witching hours were their usual style. They were truly feeling each other. The dilemma was this…Malak and Jannah both had exes who were very much still in the picture, and they had been hurt badly by them so the Fear Factor was crucial. Both wanted to be together but neither trusted the fact that the other was ready. After about three months of the back and forth business with the exes, the dating, and the inevitable “I love you” Malak recorded that song. Jannah was hers the next week. Thinking about how everything played out between them always brought a smile to Jannah’s face. She was so enrapt in her thoughts of Malak she almost forgot why the Hell she was in the car in the first place. Then reality hit as the music faded. Shit. Work. Jannah looked at her watch. She had seventeen minutes before she was late and she was about nineteen minutes from the office. She prayed.
_____“A’uzu billahi minashaitanir rajim. Bismillahir ramanir rahim. Allah please forgive my tardiness and allow me to get to work on time this day.”
_____Jannah pulled into her parking spot with two minutes to spare. She rushed into her office and clocked in. She praised Allah silently and started up her computer. She saw the light flashing on her phone. Four messages. She pressed the button to review them.
_____“Jannah this is Raychael. Don’t forget your one-thirty lunch date with Ja-Rule. He wants to see you about a cover for “Venni Vitti Vicci: The Movie.” It’s his last album, so he says, and he wants this cover to be hot.” It was Raychael her secretary.
_____“Bitch when you get this make sure your black ass calls me. I haven’t spoken to you in forever and your Godchild misses you.” It was her best friend Amirah.
_____“Jannah, its Janet. I was wondering if you were available any time in the next two weeks to discuss some ideas for the cover of my new album. I will be over seas after that. When you get a chance call my secretary to set something up. Thanks.” That was Janet. After the layout for the All For You album she had fallen in love with Jannah’s ideas.
_____“Hey Sexy. I just had to call my Heaven and let her know that her Angel was missing her. I know you were probably late this morning or just made it by the fuzz of your ass. I’m sorry Baby. I won’t keep you up like that anymore. Ok I’m lying, but I mean well. When you get a chance call me. I love you.” That was Malak. Jannah returned her call first. Then she returned Janet’s call and scheduled an appointment for a week and a half out. Amirah got the next returned call and Jannah even took time to play with her Godson Amir over the phone. The last call was to Raychael to confirm the Ja-Rule appointment. Everything was taken care of. Jannah made all her appointments and phone calls and by four-o’clock she was ready to roll. She called Malak’s cell and let her know she was finished early.
_____“Mala, I’m done early today so I’m on my way home to start dinner. Is there anything you want in particular?”
_____“Baby you know what I want. You in a bra, a thong, and some heels ready to be fukked crazy. Other than that you can make whatever you want for dinner.” Malak had such a sly smile in her voice and Jannah felt herself get real wet real fast.
_____“Damn Baby why you gonna say some shit like that while I’m driving. You tryna make me have an accident?”
_____“Nah Mami. The only accident is finna be when you cain’t hold your cum back anymore and you “accidentally” drown me. Now go head and do what you gotta do ‘cuz when I get home its on from the door. I love you Sexy. One.”
_____“I love you too Papi. Two.” Jannah laughed and hung up.
_____Once Jannah reached home she rushed to the kitchen. She didn’t want to be in the middle of fixing dinner when Malak got home. The last time that happened they ended up ordering out because the food burned. Damn near had the kitchen on fire. When Malak says “its on from the door” she means just that. Jannah took out something quick. Some chicken breasts, stir fry vegetables, and rice. Malak would be ok with that. The girl didn’t eat that much anyway. Jannah put the chicken in the microwave to defrost and put the water on for the rice. While she was doing that she went into the bedroom to rummage through her drawers for her sexiest bra and thong set. Once she found them, a silver satin G-string and demi-bra from Vicky’s, she lay them out on the bed and went to get the silver heels from the closet. Six inch stilettos that made her four inches taller than Malak. She went over to the dresser and kissed the picture of her and Malak and thought about how good they looked together. Malak was cute. She was light, bright, damn near white, with chinky eyes, dimples, pouty full lips, and cornrows that fell between her shoulder blades. She worked out so her body was tight, and for being such a little nigga she was rather strong. Jannah’s little Papi. Jannah on the other hand was the exact opposite. Dark skinned, long hair, small framed, model type body, and small features. She was beautiful. Jannah smiled to herself and walked back toward the kitchen to start preparing her meal. Malak would be home soon.
_____After dinner was prepared Jannah went to take her shower. She pinned up her hair and ran the water for a moment before she got in. Once the water was the way she wanted it she stepped into the shower. She let the water wash over her before she cleansed herself with the peach body wash and thought about the way Malak washed her when they bathed together. She quickly finished up before she started touching herself. She had been horny all day and Malak’s little remarks didn’t help the situation any. Once out of the shower, Jannah wrapped herself in her favorite fluffy towel and dried off. She anointed herself with the peach lotion and finished off the set with the peach body spray. Malak had been on a peach kick lately. Before that it was vanilla, and before that it had been strawberries and cream. Jannah held up the bra and caressed her breasts before putting it on. She put on the G-string and bent over to touch her toes. If Malak had been home Jannah would’ve felt a tongue creep up her ass. She got wet at the thought. Now for the stilettos. After she was fully dressed she stood in front of the full length mirror and modeled for herself. Perfect except for one thing. The hair. She removed the pins and let her hair fall down her back. Now she was ready to receive her Angel. She sauntered toward the living room and dimmed the lights. There was just enough light to see what she was doing. She made her way over to the sound system and put the “fukk me” CDs she had made on random. Now all she had to do was wait for Malak to come home. She lay on the sofa and waited…and waited…and waited. Finally she called Malak’s cell phone and got the voice mail. She was probably stuck in the subway. Damn rush hour. She wished Malak would just drive into the city, but she knew it was too much trouble with traffic and parking. She left Malak a message.
_____“Baby, I’m home here all clean and wet and dying for you to come home to handle my biznaaaz. Hurry Baby.”
Jannah lay back down and decided to catch a quick nap until Malak made it home. Sometimes when Jannah was asleep Malak would wake her up in very nice ways so she decided to set the scene and get some rest at the same time. About thirty minutes later Jannah was awakened by the phone. It was probably Malak calling her back she thought. She raced to get the phone without looking at the caller ID.
_____“Baby where are you? Do you know I’ve been…” Jannah started but a strange voice cut her off.
_____“Ms. Daly. This is Officer Michael McMillan from the Fifty-Second Precinct.”
_____“Is something wrong? What happened? Oh my God, where is Malak? Is she ok?” Jannah was almost hysterical.
_____“Ms. Daly, please calm down. Ms. Qadar was in an accident on the four train where she suffered fatal stab wounds. She is here at Montefiore hospital in very critical condition. Please get here as soon as possible.”
_____“I’m on my way. Please make her hold on until I get there. Please.” Jannah was in tears. She raced to the bedroom, threw on the first thing she could find, and raced out the front door. She sped to the hospital and all she could do was pray and cry. When she entered the hospital she rushed straight for the intensive care unit in the trauma center. Doctors were everywhere and Jannah didn’t know who to speak to. She wasn’t even sure if she could speak because the lump in her throat was so big. All she managed to get out was “Malak.” A female doctor put her arm around Jannah and walked her to the room Malak was in.
_____“Ms. Daly, please, before you go in I must warn you. She won’t know you. She is unconscious and very unstable. She suffered two stab wounds to the head, three to the chest, and two to the stomach. She also suffered one to the back of her neck which severed her spine. If, and this is a big if, if she makes it she will be paralyzed from the neck down. We can’t make any reparations to it until we stabilize her and by then it will be too late to undo the damage. She lost a tremendous amount of blood and she’s battling a twenty/eighty chance of survival. See her quickly please.”
_____“I will.” Jannah opened the door to Malak’s room and almost passed out. This was not her Baby. This wasn’t Malak. Jannah staggered over to the side of the bed and touched what part of Malak’s hand she could without disturbing all of the wires and machines the doctors had her hooked up to. She cried hard.
_____“Mala, please pull through this. Baby please. Wake up. Say something. Baby don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me. Don’t. I-I can’t go through life without you. Baby please don’t go. Allah please don’t take her from me. Dammit Mala, stop playing and wake up…please. Please Baby, wake up.” Jannah prayed and cried over Malak to no avail. Malak didn’t move. The doctor came into the room.
_____“Ms. Daly we need to run some tests on her. I’m going to have to ask you to leave now. I’m sorry.”
_____“I understand. May I kiss her please?”
_____“Sure just be careful of the machinery.”
_____“I will.” Jannah bent over Malak taking extra care not to touch any of the wires. She placed her lips on Malak’s bandaged head.
“Baby, I love you.” Jannah looked at Malak and seen what she could’ve bet her life was a smile. As she turned to walk out of the room…flatline.

The End

Copyright © 2003. Used by permission of author. All Rights Reserved.