Spirited: Affirming the Soul and Black Gay/Lesbian Identity
Edited by G. Winston James & Lisa C. Moore
Redbone Press / ISBN: 0965665933

From Without Exception or Limitation by Kathleen E. Morris

If I wake upon Wednesday and accept that I am a lesbian, I have changed. I have not changed “into” a lesbian; I have changed because I have accepted a truth about myself. I have, by accident or with purpose, stripped away a veil of self-illusion and, having done so, I move closer to living more honestly, more truthfully and more perfectly. As God’s Love is perfect and, therefore without exception or limitation, when I accept the truth of how I love—and I live that truth with love—I move closer to, not farther away from, God.
To share my life, my love, my joy, my tears, my triumphs, my failures with another woman is not an abomination. If I accept God’s love as perfect and without limitation, and I have committed my life to living in that Perfect Love, to being of that Perfect Love, I must follow my heart. I must follow my Spirit—which is God.
This is the truth, no matter what anyone preaches from any pulpit.

God looks upon the hearts of (wo)man. If the heart is wicked we are wicked. If there is love in our hearts then we have the compassion of our Father. It took me a while to learn this. I was in my forties before I began to love myself. Having experienced His love, His mercy and His many blessings I knew He worked in my life. I know my heart isn’t wicked therefore I must be a good person. I believe in loving my neighbor as myse1f which is the greatest of His commandments. I knew I didn’t lust after another woman’s woman. (Not to the point of acting on it, anyway!) I believe in modesty and all things good. I honor my mother and father and respect my elders, so why would God not love me? Why would I not love myself knowing that I try to live a Christian life?
Of course there is room for improvement. I have my carnal ways. We all do. Scripture says first there is carnal, then spiritual. This means I live in the flesh before I live in the spirit. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I will never be perfect. I’ve come to terms that God knows this. Why should I feel that I must be perfect? I can only strive to be a good person. God knows my faults, and I do not believe that my being a lesbian is one of them. Before the foundation of the world He knew me. He knew I would become a lesbian and He blesses me. Why should I not accept His love and love myself? This was my turning point.

My spirituality is flavored by both Wicca and the West African Yoruba tradition, as well as my Baptist upbringing. Wicca however, was my introduction to earth-based traditions. It is Wicca that provides me with a solid foundation for self-loving. Witches rejoice in the power of the feminine and view sexuality as fluid, constrained only by our own fear and narrow Interpretations of it. As a lover of women, I need to see myself and all women dearly in the image of the divine spirit.
My first encounter with Her was at a sacred sexual ritual more than six years ago that was organized by some of my social justice activist peers. I later discovered that these peers were also witches, shamans and energy workers. They recognized my openness to and hunger for exploring my sexuality and invited me to attend the ritual. Amazingly, I felt very little apprehension about participating I trusted the organizers and, up until then, had been desperately searching for new ways to heal the sexual wounds of my past. I was given very clear instructions about my participation—come sober, play safe and be open. The first two presented no challenge for me. The last request, however, did. Sexual openness was what I craved, hut I was still ignorant about how to acquire it. I tried anyway, and found the evening absolutely magical. I went into trance. I danced. I laughed and made love. I witnessed fat, thin, male, female, black, white, and brown bodies in all of their glorious nakedness making love. The Goddess was definitely present and she was smiling.
I have not attended a ritual like that since that evening, but the experience significantly altered me by allowing me to experience the intimate connection between my sexuality and spiritual life. This shift in perception was drastic for me. Previously I had understood my sexuality—more specifically my lesbianism—as something to struggle with and resist. That night, I felt I had been given divine permission to delight in my sexual nature and body. This was the beginning of a healing journey still in progress.

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